Not a spaghetti western, but a genuine comment on the state of affairs around here. The pop-up Mexican take out which has been operating on Tuesday all summer has reached it's last evening. This is very sad indeed, as it is delicious, cheap and I often meet friends in the queue! I have ordered the daughter and I steak chilli, a steak burrito and chicken nachos - it'll be far too much, but I'm making the most of it!
Today was another boggling and frustrating day at work and to top it off I think I have forgotten how to plan a lesson...I expect it will be OK when I actually have teenagers in front of me tomorrow. I feel somewhat frazzled, so the joy that is my take out will be very welcome. Despite deciding to reduce my alcohol intake, I think I may have the bottle of fruit cider which is in the fridge tonight before I enter the fray that is Autumn term in earnest.
I am a bit of a negativity junkie. When your teenage daughter keeps telling you not to worry, you begin to think you have a problem - she is the one who should have angst! I am aware on one, quite cerebral, level, that I am lucky - I live in a beautiful place, I have a beautiful (and apparently well-adjusted) daughter, I have a job, generally good health, my family are close by and I have good friends.
However, on an emotional level I find it hard to appreciate all of this. After a bout of depression following my divorce, I am constantly aware of my negative thoughts. It is almost as though defending myself against depression is removing the joy from my life. Don't get me wrong - I have a good time. I laugh a lot. But it doesn't always seem to percolate to my core, if you see what I mean.
So, I am going to try to blog most days (not setting myself up to fail - I might not make it every day...) about things which have made me happy, or for which I should be thankful. I have a feeling that most days have at least one of these. Some posts may be a little underwhelming, but that's how it goes with life.
I will post photos of happy times, too, but not in this post. I have been thinking about starting this blog for a week or so, so I am going to list some of my 'reasons to be cheerful' recently:
- walking on the Otter Trail while my daughter was at zumba - beautiful sunshine, shady path
- Mexican takeaway in the sun on my balcony
- sun on my balcony in general!
- visiting my niece and her partner at their campsite and looking at the sea while eating a picnic
There we go - happy things in my life. I'll be back soon!
